The Hatchling
by MintIceTea
Summary: Honestly, the way his parents go on Karma would think he really was hatched from an egg. It's only fair he teases them back.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I adore this headcannon to pieces; this was inspired by a list of headcannons on Chocobito's tumblr, as well as adorable fanart they did of young Karma in front of a pet store. Definitely go check out their stuff!

* * *

Nakamura squeaked as she almost ran into Karma's back. "Oi! Why'd you stop?" She complained, pressing her forehead against him. Nagisa slowed down in curiosity as he caught up.

"I've got to take a picture." Karma said with one of his evil grins, aiming his phone through the store window.

"Of what?" Nakamura peered over his shoulder. "That ugly parrot?"

"Yeah, my dad loves them." He typed quickly, and sent it off, looking on the verge of an evil cackle. Nakamura and the rest of the group looked to Nagisa. He shrugged, shaking his head. Even without meeting his parents, Nagisa was sure that whatever Karma was doing, it was fueled by mischief.

"Thanks for waiting, guys." Karma gave Nagisa a playful shove to get them all walking again. "Let me know if you see any bugs."

* * *

Akane fluttered, alerting Yako to a new text. She opened it, and snickered. "Neuro - it's for you."

He gracefully dropped from the ceiling. Striding between the empty theater seats towards her. He took the phone from her outstretched hand, making sure to hold on to Yako's head since she seemed prone to escape.

"He's your son!" Yako yelped, an excuse that Neuro knew meant whatever the joke was, it was at his expense. He looked at the phone, then back at her.

"You hatched him." He scolded, dragging her back up to the ceiling with him, ignoring her protests.

"Neuro! Not by the head, please! And-ow!- its comments like that - _owowow-_ that makes him keep up with the jokes! _Neuroooo!_ "

Yako's phone lay discarded on the seats below, showing a picture of a rather old and gray parrot with patchy feathers.

 _Dad - it u :D_

* * *

Five minutes later it beeps with a picture of a very flat and unfortunate worm on the sidewalk, followed by _: mooooom! Nooo! D:_


	2. Chapter 2

Late night visitors were never a good sign in his line of business. And Godai has seen weird enough things that even if the visitor _looked_ like his godson, that didn't necessarily mean it _was_ his godson.

And if it actually was Karma out there, well, sometimes that kid needed a weapon pointed at him.

Godai cracked the door open just enough to poke the muzzle of his gun through, not even far enough for the chain to catch.

"What is it, kid?"

School bag over his shoulder, Karma looked miserable. "Uncle, can I stay here tonight?"

"You can't be running away from home." Godai shut the door and unlatched the safety before opening it again. "Thought you were enjoying being off school."

"That was before I made a terrible miscalculation." Karma muttered, moving past him and dropping onto the floor in front of the muted television - having to move a few stacks of papers and cans out of his way. "I need to hide out, when is their next trip out of the country? Maybe if they get a good mystery they'll forget."

"Well, first of all - your dad never forgets, and rarely forgives. What the fuck did you do?" Godai made sure the door was locked, and moved towards the fridge. He pulled out two beers, offering one to Karma who took it absently. Just holding it in his lap, looking troubled.

"I...I was teasing mom, during dinner, about eating - and -"

"You still have both hands, that's a plus." Godai shuddered. He had once tried to steal food from a gigantic pile on Yako's desk (she wouldn't miss just one bag of crisps would she?).

That scar did heal eventually.

Karma nodded in acknowledgment. "Mm. Anyway, I said something like 'mom, really, you eat so much people are gonna think you're pregnant' - and I've said stuff like that before, and so has Uncle Yuuya, and she usually has a really good comeback but tonight -" Karma absently opened the beer "- she pauses, and has this really thoughtful look on her face. And then dad, he walks in just then, so mom turns to him and asks if he wants another kid." He raised the beer to his lips. "I don't wanna talk about what happened after that. His reaction was alarmingly enthusiastic." Karma took a sip of the beer, immediately spitting it back out. "Ew!"

Godai laughed, slapping Karma on the shoulder and taking the beer away. "Geez, kid. I was worried you actually upset them or something."

"Uncleeeee, I have childhood trauma now! I'll never recover from it." Karma flopped back onto the floor.

"Kid, you don't know how lucky you are to have parents that _like_ each other enough to traumatize you. I mean, unlucky cause they're both monsters, but I think it evens out or someshit." Godai leaned back on his hands, looking down at Karma. "And honestly if you aren't traumatized by all the times your dad has chunked you off a building I don't think you can be."

Karma groaned, covering his eyes with his arm.

Godai grinned and continued. "And really, you won't believe all the trauma _I've_ suffered because of your parents. I mean, every time I went by their office to deliver shit - and I know your dad planned it that way - especially when they were newlyweds, I mean - every other time I caught them-"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Karma whined, rolling away from him. "Don't say anything else!"

"Alright, alright." Godai stood up, giving him a gentle kick. "Gonna go grab some smokes, need anything?"

"Arsenic."

"You wish, kid."

Yako's phone beeped, and she wriggled out from beneath Neuro's lax body to reach for it. He grunted, but rolled off her in order to spoon up behind her. "What does the hellspawn say?" He murmured, nipping lazily at her ear.

"It's Godai - ow, not so hard - he says he's got Karma for the night."

"Good. His school suspension is up in a week, he'll be out of the nest soon enough." Neuro shifted, pushing her shoulder until she rolled onto her back so he could look down at her. "But still!" He puts on his 'shy-and-naive' face, even attempting a blush. "You couldn't even wait that long to ravish your hapless assistant. Sensei is so shameless!"

Yako snorted, dropping the phone back onto the floor beside the bed. "Either we kicked him out or got arrested for public indecency. _I_ wasn't the one attempting 'seduction' in the cafe last week."

"Of course you were, Sensei!" Neuro continued, eyes wide. "I just had observed that - were I human - my jacket were be far too warm in there and then you practically ripped it off me."

Yako raised an eyebrow. "Yes of course. That's exactly what happened." She commented dryly, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him back down. "But see, I don't remember my assistant being there. I remember my husband there though."

Neuro blinked, his eyes softening as he let her tug him down. "Ah, touche."

The next day Karma cautiously opens the front door. Immediately he spots his father, with an armload of branches.

"Ah, perfect! You're just in time to help me build a nest for your sibling!"

The door slams behind Karma as he flees.

Yako cackles.


End file.
